Selling a Home During Divorce
One agent, both of you, the same information at the same time, and a sale that does not become another thing to argue about.
The structural problem nobody warns you about
An ordinary home sale needs the sellers to agree perhaps fifteen or twenty times: on the price, on the photographs, on which repairs to make, on showing times, on which offer, on whether to counter, on how to handle the inspection response.
A sale during a divorce needs exactly the same fifteen or twenty agreements, at the moment when agreeing is the hardest thing available to you. That is the actual difficulty. It is not the market and it is not the paperwork. It is that every ordinary decision now has history attached to it, and any one of them can stall the whole thing for weeks.
Weeks matter here in a way they do not in a normal sale, because in most of these situations two people are paying for one house they are both trying to leave.
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My role is to be the part of this that is not taking a side
Neutrality here is a commitment with specifics behind it, not a sentiment:
- Both of you get the same information at the same time, in writing. One email, both names on it. No separate conversations where one of you learns something first.
- I do not carry messages between you. If something needs to be communicated, it goes through your attorneys or it goes in an email you can both read. I am not a channel.
- I do not editorialize. You will not hear my opinion of either of you, and neither will anybody else.
- I do not recommend anything I would not recommend to each of you separately. If a price or a repair or an offer is right, it is right for both sides of the sale, because you are both on the same side of this particular transaction whether it feels that way or not.
- Everything is documented. Recommendations, offers received, decisions made and who made them. Memory becomes contested in these situations, and a written record protects both of you.
Your attorneys handle the law and the agreement. I handle the house. Those lines do not blur, and when a question lands on the wrong side of the line I will say so rather than guess.
The questions that actually need answering first
Before anything is listed, a handful of things need settling, and most of them are decisions for you and your attorneys rather than for me:
- Who is living in the house while it sells, and who is responsible for keeping it in showing condition. This one causes more friction than any other, and it is much better agreed in advance than discovered on a Saturday morning.
- Who pays the mortgage, the taxes, the insurance and the utilities during the listing period.
- Who authorizes what. Can one of you accept an offer, or does every decision need both signatures? Your attorneys will know what your agreement or the court requires.
- What happens to the proceeds, and whether anything is being held back at closing.
- The floor. Is there a number below which neither of you will sell, and has that been agreed or only assumed?
I will raise every one of these at the start. Getting them settled on paper before the first showing prevents most of the arguments that otherwise arrive later, under time pressure, with a buyer waiting.
Disclosure does not get quieter because the situation is private
Your circumstances are nobody's business and I will not discuss them with a buyer, a buyer's agent, or anyone else. Motivation is not a disclosure item and revealing it would cost you money.
What does have to be handled properly is the condition of the property. Known defects, the age of the systems, water issues, the lead paint requirements that apply to homes built before 1978 in Massachusetts. Those obligations are the same as in any other sale, and a divorce does not reduce them. Getting them right protects both of you afterward, at a point when neither of you wants to be dealing with the other over a claim.
If the two of you disagree about what should be disclosed, that is a question for your attorneys, and I will wait for their answer rather than pick one.
The house is going to sell, and then this part is over
It is worth saying plainly, because in the middle of it people stop believing it.
A house on the South Coast or Cape Cod that is priced properly and prepared reasonably will sell. Whatever else is unresolved between you, this particular piece of it has an end, and the end is a date on a calendar rather than something that has to be negotiated into existence.
My job is to get you to that date with as few decisions as possible left in dispute, and without either of you feeling that the person handling the house was working for the other one.
This describes my general process and is not legal, tax, or financial advice. Decisions about the division of property belong with your attorney.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can one agent represent both of us in a divorce sale?
Yes, and it is usually the better arrangement. You are both on the same side of this particular transaction, which is selling one house for the best available number. One agent means one set of information reaching both of you at the same time, rather than two agents each briefing one person and the gap between them becoming another argument.
What if we cannot agree on a list price?
A written comparative market analysis exists for exactly this. It replaces two opinions with the same set of closed sales, the same competing listings, and the same record of what did not sell and at what number. If a disagreement survives the evidence, it is no longer a real estate question and it goes back to your attorneys.
Do you have to tell buyers we are divorcing?
No. Your circumstances are not a disclosure item and I will not discuss them with a buyer or a buyer's agent, because revealing motivation costs you money. What does have to be disclosed properly is the condition of the property, and those obligations are the same as in any other Massachusetts sale.
Who pays the mortgage and bills while the house is listed?
Whatever you and your attorneys agree, and it needs agreeing before the house goes on the market rather than after. The same goes for who lives there during the listing and who keeps it in showing condition. I will raise all of it at the start, because these are the items that cause the most friction when they are left assumed.
Can one of us accept an offer without the other?
That depends on your separation agreement or what the court has ordered, and it is a question for your attorneys rather than for me. I will ask you to confirm the answer in writing at the start, so that when an offer arrives we are not working it out under a deadline.
Will you talk to our attorneys?
Yes, and I would rather do that than have real estate questions relayed secondhand. I will copy both attorneys on anything material if you want me to. The line I hold is that they handle the law and I handle the house, and when a question sits on their side of it I say so rather than guess.
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